Sometimes you really just wanna get that out.


“I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I deserve someone who is gentle and kind, because my soul is getting tired. Realizing I deserve something good is the first step.” – Michelle K.


Glass Box

Tequila gives me a headache. Brandy helps clear up my skin the next day. Having both… won’t do that again.


I think I might also have a thing for glass containers (and glassware). They’re really beautiful and they look so delicate *sigh*

But most probably I’d break them sooner than later.



I want March to end soon. Gruelling.

New Old

I want my coffee as black as the deepest depths of hell.


Other times I want to go all cutesy and put lots of cream and muscovado. But it still needs to be strong enough.



Getting to like Sia these days. I feel so young. Spotify shall become my best friend ♥



There will always be something wrong with the system. There is so much chaos in the world due to the systems we have created for ourselves.


Maybe if I just push it to the recesses of my mind it won’t be true.


I tried to do a breakdown of my expenses again. 1/3 of my money vanishes on FOOD.



Intermittent Nonsense

People congratulate you when you stop. They also welcome you when you go back. These are different types of people though, but it’s nice to know.


Am still under my Thranduil-stalking phase.  I’ve gone to the deep end and started on reading fan fictions.  It’s hard to get past all the articles that are just focused on smut. It aint all that bad though.


I’ve been trying to do intermittent fasting for a few weeks now and I’m always so hungry. The idea is that you only eat during a certain time and you fast for a minimum of 16hours (including sleep time). So if you think about it, you can eat anything from 9am-5pm and then you let your stomach digest that food for 16hours. Does that make sense?

Apparently there are a lot of variations on this but since I am working from 6am-3pm I don’t have the option of doing the other types because I shall die :p


If you want to know more about this, Wikipedia is (not always) your friend: READ


I don’t have the heart to do it. Not now.


I have also resorted to viewing photos of food (mostly Japanese) during work. I am that hungry. Cheese on toast would do too :(



I don’t usually enjoy “DJ” music but I need to keep an open mind as I shall go to Summer Siren 2015 (yay!)


I would prefer my usual band lineup though (Franco, UpDharmaDown, Urbandub etc ♥)

And I shall go with new friends! As they are all quite skinny though I need to stock up on large shirts and maybe I should buy some pepper spray to ward off creepos haha.


Both my Baguio ground and dark roast Yuban coffee has gone off on me and the world has ended. Imagine smoking with flavorless coffee. The horror. Maybe it’s my coffee maker. Anyway, this weekend I shall acquire these ^^

Starbucks recycled coffee press (to keep all those flavorful oils in! And because it’s cheaper than most *sigh*)


And Dunkin Donuts coffee! I want the one in the can though.


And maybe that Pokemon game for my neglected 3DS (totally unrelated).



I’m so hungry.


Gay or Married: You can only choose one or both :/




It was my fourth stick for the day and I furiously tried to finish it as I gazed down from my apartments deck. The evening was almost quiet, save for the sudden singing voice of an old woman five houses down. Apparently, it was pabasa time again for the Lenten season. I try to avoid events like this as much as I can as a self-proclaimed deist. To sate your criticism of this, I can’t explain or answer a debate on this logically so you can leave me be as a fool perhaps.

I have one thing on my mind and I am running on all possible answers and causes and actions but I can never get to one conclusion, not even just ONE logical path, not one reasonable step to enlightenment.

I am running on brandy for fuel and cigarettes for air. I was able to do two years and seven months without this and I wonder too why I had to go back. Was there a need? Was it just a passing fancy? I must be running out of breath or a line to hold on to.

I get a few minutes of reprieve as I stare into the busy city skyline right before my eyes. Do I want this? How can I say it? I feel a passing sort of contentment as I take a deep drag and release my thoughts into the night sky.

I would go again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next month or year. Could I have done something about this then? Could I have fixed it or perhaps left it?

I loathe waiting. But really, I am already too tired of doing it first.

Smoke and Mirrors


Like a long, lost friend, it welcomed me back into its deadly arms.

A feeling so familiar I might stay with it for while ☺


I walked a lot today. For stuff that didn’t seem to matter (except for the kalamares part which is the highlight of this dreary day).

I’ve been thinking of a lot of things lately without getting anywhere at all so I decided to stall and let “destiny” take its path.

I also decided to end this day with brandy and tried to listen to my recorded, singing self (which is no good as my last gig was 3 years ago and I’m as flat/sharp as ever). I’ll post one of the songs later on if I’m game.

I feel like I want to have a long, meaningless talk with a random person just so I could get some new insights on life.

I am tired and I feel like I want to sleep and dream for four months.

Indifference, ah. Such a dangerous word.

Random ramblings, like what everyone else does.

So here’s a selfie 😝

4.48K a day for 35minutes!

Then tomorrow, Baguio ♥


IMG_0282 It is like a nightmare. The type that lingers in your head as you wake up and affects your mood for the whole day. It feels like something lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce at you anytime, catching you at your most vulnerable moment. You can hear it in your head, like a whirring sound in your ears and you squeeze your eyes shut to try and keep it out but it’s no use. You can only wait until the storm passes, until the sun rises, until the pain dulls. You can only cry and wail in despair.



I didn’t know how small my world was until it broke down.


That didn’t mean anything. I just thought it sounded…deep ☺


I broke my personal (suckey) record today! Three rounds in 21 minutes *teehee* I know it’s slow by your standards but when I started, I took 35 minutes. I still look like a roasting pig though and I still feel lilke blacking out but I’m faster at least.

I suppose it’s good motivation when your relatives call you fat all weekend.


Last week was a fiasco of toothaches and headaches and I wanted to punch people in the face so I stayed home instead. The overhaul I promised myself last year never happened and I still had a chip on my molar, a hole in another, and countless other tragedies caused by my love of all things sugary.

It was by far, the worst sort of pain I’ve experienced in my life and I cried til my eyes were sore. I made do with those nasty tooth ache drops that apparently, burns the skin around the tooth but any other pain is better than THAT ONE FUCKING NERVE.

I feel like killing people whenever I remember that.

(Thinking about it, I could’ve just killed that mean male dentist I made an appointment with. Talk about rude.)

Anyway, I’ve found the perfect female dentist and I’ll have the overhaul this year ^^


There has been some weird situations in the family right now and I am confused as to the right option to take. Can I ask for a sign? Or should I go thru that advantages/disadvantages thingy?




I feel this certain disconnect in my personality/life when I meet up with college friends and then I go back to my work routine.

Like, what happened?



Stumbled upon a good site shared by a very good person (and bassist! Hi Cyd :p). Here’s a link:


He is simply stating the obvious things in life that we are surprisingly blind to and it’s amazing.  I’m still backtracking on his archives but here are some good snippets from his blog (sorry for the screengrabs but clicking on the photo will take you to the article itself:


The following are for a different article:

3 4 5

And this is one of my favorites:


So go to his site and read up :)

Food =/= Health

I get sad because of food but food makes me happy too.

Yesterday I bought some Turkish delights from Brera for P220 a box and I got something like this:


…which is okay but biting into it, it didn’t have the texture and flavor I remembered from my childhood. I cried (inside haha). I was expecting something a bit like this:


…something with a gummybear-like texture and a more fruity finish. The nuts would be a bonus ♥




I was fooled into thinking running girls look like this:


Why do I look like a fish out of water gasping for its life?

I feel like blacking out after three rounds. The first round is the hardest as that would be when my muscles scream out, writhing in agony. After that, I’m just in constant pain.

As I said, I’m a very shallow person so I like complaining a lot about mundane stuff :p

But I like running anyways. And I’ve stopped counting the days I’ve been doing it. What I need to conquer now would be sprinting. Apparently, it’s more beneficial in the long run (pun intended?) but just doing 10 seconds of this during my jog almost sent me tumbling into the abyss. But it was fun! I loved how the cold air swooshed past my face as I did it. I just hope I don’t die while doing it.

*le sigh*


I feel so burnt out at the end of my work day. But it’s a good type of stress for me as I feel fulfilled nonetheless.

When’s a good month for a 10-day vacation and where to?


"It doesn't matter, If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."


I can’t believe people are actually selling shirts with Cobain’s suicide note on it. But in today’s world where lack of respect is a norm, nothing much should surprise us anymore.



Photo from:

Every morning while I’m waiting for my brewed coffee, I give my cat his vitamins and I brush him down. I also talk to him:

“I told you not to wake me up at –AM”

“Why do you meow so loudly?”

“You know that chocolates are not good for you”

“You can’t eat that”

“You can’t go there”

“I told you that eating too much is bad for you and you also keep on licking your fur after you eat so you smell like fish and you’re becoming fat now like your dad (and me) and blahblah..”

…etc etc like a nagging mother. And he just sits there purring like a good boy. Or sometimes he gets annoyed and takes a nip at my hand. And also this proves I am a crazy cat lady.


Where do you see yourself?


I suppose I won’t come back.

That would be awesome


I like dusk the best of all.

Shades of oranges like fall.

Almost dark, almost a squall

A cup in hand, wearing a shawl

(And here ends my talent in elementary poetry :p)


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